one woman says to the other, His parents began to yell and scream. A: When it turns into a driveway.

God isn't hard of hearing.". At one point, a guy pulls up on a bicycle, and is wearing a large backpack. My dad having a firm grip on my shoulders, ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''. The cop then asks the boy if Santa gave him the bike.

She still wouldn’t let me past. The cop asked him why he was carrying coffin on his head. Not paying much attention the boy goes on home and does his chores. And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline. Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one in the front slams the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tyres. Two nuns are riding their bicycles through town, when they turn down a cobblestone street. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t get past her.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. Cookies help us deliver our services. It was case of ‘air today, gone tomorrow’. These funny bike jokes and puns cover everything from a bike to bicycle, cycling and riding a bike. An agent retired 7 years later meets the man in a cafe while they’re both getting a coffee. The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." He is given a full training and in his last session he is told where he will be dropped and that a bicycle will be there for him so he will be able to move around easily. Read our full Privacy Policy as well as Terms & Conditions. A pathologist examined the remains of all the dead crows, and to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT the Avian Flu. But after a while, his bad suspension dampened his excitement for riding the bike. My watch has stopped.". We hope they make you laugh. He hires a cycleologist. I missed it, but my chainsaw. Why can’t bicycles stand on their own? “It’s people like you that cause accidents!” I shouted. That’s ridiculous! "Oh, well I've never come this way before. ", A boy gets stopped by a cop on a horse while riding his new bike. What do you call a laughing motorcycle? ...when she came upon a dashing knight in the woods, practicing his swordsmanship. Bikes help provide a simple means of transportation; They are cheap, mobile, low maintenance, and can get in all sorts of spaces that cars cannot. The man, One old and one young, they pedal down the tiny side streets admiring the scenery. But some of us have a slightly more twisted sense of humor than others. ", A spy is getting instructions for his mission: “You will parachute in a field behind the enemy lines. These must be the remotest peaks on the planet.

If you get easily offeneded or need a safe space, these dirty jokes are definitely not for you! Attire. I call the procedure “cycle ops”. I asked the parish priest. A friend of mine sent it to me, I thought it was funny, and decided to post it here. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $1,80,000 and your mother just lost her job. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break, so I drank all the whiskey before I cycled home. But the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. But you must take it out for a ride at least every 7 days, or it will injure you", says his granddad. Bike ma is usually nice to me, but car ma's a bitch. The bikers I respect are the ones who torque the talk. A: Because it’s too tired! A little boy was sitting on Santa's lap in the mall and he told Santa, "I want a fuckin' skateboard under my bed, a fuckin' bike in the garage, and a fuckin' train-set under the tree.". Q: What do you call a bicycle with a bed on top?

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? One fine summer’s evening, Paddy, Mick, and Liam are riding back home from the bar, all three of them on Paddy’s motorcycle. Cycling through a meadow, I noticed my bike looked prettier. A barber won a bike race, I asked him how? Click here for more information. ", I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket, One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'. Behind the shack there is bicycle.

100 Jokes About Trying To Be Healthy That Will Make You LOL. Riding a bike is hard. The boy happily replies with a yes. 35+ Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Friends That You Can’t Help But Laugh At. If you think the list is missing some, ... Share: Nerdy cycling. Happy cycling! 69 of them, in fact! Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: “If I go too fast, ring your bell and I’ll slow down.” Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. 1. WHEW, BUDDY, did people deliver! Then write a letter to, His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?". Edit: Okay, I really didn’t think I would have to even say this, because people who are on a jokes forum should be able to actually take a joke, but I DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO THIS. The one in the back yells out, “Hey!

I illegally cut down some trees when I was out building a trail. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The seller tells him, "whenever it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it won't rust." Ride the bicycle 10 miles north and you will be in a village where you will meet your contact at the local tavern. Ted buys a harley. Getting a tire pump is really expensive these days. The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. Enjoy funny bike jokes and puns. It was a chain reaction. You get across the bridge faster than if you'd walked. Some, however, were good enough to get us giggling and all kinds of smiling inside. He ended up buying an electric bike, he loves how it takes charge.

Reactions: Andy in Germany and PeteXXX.

The mailman said " you wanna see my package?" Interested in riding a bicycle? Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead, The father smirked at little Johnny and said to the young man "Well, I don't know son.

He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder. She got off, took off all her clothes and said ‘Take whatever you want.’” “Good choice,” says the friend. I lodged a complaint and was directed to their spokes-person. Nobody witnessed anything but my chain saw. A smalltown priest went to the mayor, complaining: During WW 2 a British commando is trained to drop into France and sabotage the enemy. My dog doesn’t even own a bike! Then along came a ma. Good cycling jokes are always welcome, and these seven are our favourites. A: You laundry has more bike jerseys than clothes. Q: Why can't you take a nap during the Tour de France? The RCMP found over 2000 dead crows on Alberta highways recently, and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu. I rode my bike out early to work this morning. Let’s start with one of the classics: With the wheelie great bike puns on this list, you’ll never have to scratch your head to say something funny and clever about biking ever again. I am trying to move to, So back in the day, a little boy riding his bicycle home from school notices the community pastor in his front yard with a push mower. Bike Jokes. Give him away? As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. He will. Eventually, I just couldn’t take anymore so I looked around to make sure the coast was clear… and then I jumped off the carousel. If you are not interested you can unsubscribe at any time. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. There was a guy on a motorcycle behind me and he was waving too. Fearing he might have to bribe the cop he said “It was so hot wherever I was buried. They are absolutely good for exercising, exploring, and sports activities. I originally bought this without consulting my wife. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! 2. 1. sammiey.tumblr.com. The boy, quite angry a. and I had a few beers, followed by a few bourbons and a number of shots..... Lounging in the morning sun next to his donkey when a man on a bike rides up and asks "Excuse me, do you have the correct time? Today, we have compiled a list of some bike puns we think are wheelie good. A: A cycle path.

The mailman gave up and left.

My bike hurt me so I hit it back, it was a vicious cycle. My bike started to fall apart as soon as the chain broke, you could say it was a chain reaction. Two Nerds on a Tandem . He just doesn’t like bars. A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates asking to be let in. Studying in the library yesterday, I read about a type of dinosaur that was pretty much into bikes. We compiled the best cycling jokes just to make that happen. You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.

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