That Time We Were Convinced That Government Doesn’t Have to Be the Problem “We’re running away from ourselves, and I know we can score points that way. Who doesn't say get 'em home? Beheading those they suspect of being sorcerers. Toby Ziegler: No, I don't think you did either, sir. President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, and while he didn't deserve it, he will someday soon. We will achieve what is great. Leo McGarry: You're going to meet him right now. They're gonna throw rocks at you next week, and I wanted to be standing next to you when they did. Greg Brock: Who's the new White House Chief of Staff? President Josiah Bartlet: [Later, that same day] Josh? Anyone who told you otherwise can get lost. Abbey Bartlet: No evidence of ischemic changes. President Josiah Bartlet: Thank you. Sam Seaborn: Well, I don't think he does. It isn't so much that you cheat. We foster, we obfuscate, we rationalize. Josh Lyman: [shouts] It's gonna be you and me this weekend baby, and you are wearing a floppy hat! This is teamwork. Donna Moss: I kind of think you'd have learned that by now. President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: Any chance this is an exercise? Claudia Jean 'C.J.' I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says that a considerable portion of Americans feel that the White House has lost energy and focus. Steve Atwood: He must not have been too friendly if you decided to shoot him. Charlie Young: Mr. President, if this was an idea, somebody would've had it already. I could have been an astronaut. I got a PhD in economics instead. I'm not that scary. That's a full lid. Leo McGarry: Now, we have laws, and they are difficult and they have to be enforced and it's right that they're enforced. President Josiah Bartlet: I skipped breakfast. They invented them. Josh Lyman: Any stories we have to give the press that we're not wild about, we give all in a lump on Friday.

Governor Robert Ritchie, R-FL: You bet it is. I don't do the radio address. The Chinese food guy's got more access than I do. Cregg: Thanks for that bit about the pens. The USTR will go crazy and say that we're not considering global trade. President Josiah Bartlet: My thing's more fun. Sam Seaborn: So on a call girl's phone bill, there's going to be a call to Air Force One? Leo McGarry: [shouting] We don't always know how it ends! The X-Ray is pretty good, and so is penicillin, and neither were discovered with a practical objective in mind. Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Sam Seaborn: Why wouldn't he take it seriously? Toby Ziegler: No, sir. Sheila Brooks: You're his oldest friend. That's probably not important information. Sam Seaborn: All right, my day was a little bit better a few seconds ago, but that's all right. Sam Seaborn: You're not ridiculous-looking. The fact that I may not look like some of the other Republicans who have crossed your path does not mean that I'm any less inclined toward... Ainsley Hayes: Did you say offer me a job? Toby Ziegler: He doesn't, but he should, 'cause that's what we are. I understand you and Judge Lang had a bit of a knock down, drag out. Agent Simon Donovan: Are you working out? Mallory O'Brian: I despise you. Josh Lyman: [audibly but under his breath] Good a place as any to dump your body. I'm most certainly here for that. You guys got rogered but good.

Toby Ziegler: In my day, we knew how to protest. Governor Robert Ritchie, R-FL: My view of this is simple: we don't need a Federal Department of Education telling us our children have to learn Esperanto, they have to learn Eskimo poetry. 100%! Dolores Landingham: You're testing that preposterous contraption again. Cregg: The crackers, Danny. Ran *in* to the fire. President Josiah Bartlet: It was nine months, Abbey, not six months. Oliver Babish: Then, order the attorney general to appoint a special prosecutor. I'm sleeping for a few hours right now so you can leave a message, or if you really need me you can shout into the machine, and I'll wake up. Death of a Salesman had just opened on Broadway the night before, and he was walking around his old neighborhood in Brooklyn, and he sees a hot dog vendor that he went to high school with, and he says, 'Hey Jimmy, it's me, Arthur Miller'. Abbey Bartlet: Yeah. [Bartlet puts his hands in his pockets, looks to the side then looks back at the pool of reporters]. Leo McGarry: Lord Marbury, under our constitution the President is not empowered to create maharajahs. Josh Lyman: I'll assign someone from my office. Give me a pair of third generation ICBMs and a compass. And now this roller coaster's plunging into the transition, with its time-pressure demands and then the inauguration and it's hit the ground running and the first hundred days, and before you know it, the midterms and the new Congress and then we're running again and four years becomes eight, and we've never had the talk. Was that supposed to be funny? Glenallen Walken: Franz Ferdinand, who was the nephew of the Austro-Hungarian emperor, was killed by a group called the Black Hand. C.J. Except yes, I did that. "It's the only thing that ever has," (Will Bailey). Toby Ziegler: I don't know what you're talking about. Because we cease to be earthbound and burdened with practicality.

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